The Hardest Job in the World

You:

• Can't go to school for it.
• Take no test for it.
• Have no formal training.
• Celebrate no graduation.
• Can't achieve an advanced degree.
• Are never prepared for it.
• Have no employer, but plenty of bosses.
• Generally don't apply for it.
• Sometimes get it by default.
• Have no job description, yet it constantly changes.
• Log long hours.
• Accumulate no vacation time or comp time.
• Don't get promoted.
• Don't get paid.
• Don't get a raise.
• Can't be fired or apply for a transfer.
• Attempt to use age old skills for high tech problems of endless variety and complexity.
• Have no retirement or pension plan.
• Can't quit [though some people run away].
• Can do it as a partnership but not as a company.
• Have unthinkable huge responsibility [life and death implications], yet the entity for which you're responsible doesn't come with an owner's manual.
• Eventually realize that the rewards are immeasurable.

PARENTING!

Give Your Children the Gift of a Pleasant Memory

Not all marriages end up "happily ever after-ing." Whether a divorce is civilized or acrimonious, there's no benefit derived from depriving your children of a memory bank of joy. It takes some healing on our part as adults [and this exercise may even promote it], but for their sakes, try to get to a place where you can share with your kids the vision - the dream - that began it all. Try not to let the heartbreak and bitterness of the end, despoil the beginning.

Think of a ride in a brightly colored hot air balloon. The jubilation of the launch, excitement of the lift, and thrill of the vistas revealed as you soar aloft, needn't be erased by its eventual deflation and descent. Don't relinquish the joy.

Even IF there is no philosophical answer for "why;" even IF someone else seems to have derailed the future; even IF all the doors to the planned tomorrows have closed, let your children know the love that inspired your union at the outset. Recapture the dream; revisit the excitement; reclaim the vision; reassure them of the love that begat them. At first it may feel uncomfortable or disingenuous, but eventually it becomes easier. The softening of your heart allows you to see the effect of this sharing.

Eventually you'll be able to pull out the old pictures. Watch your children's faces [even if they're adults themselves now] as you effectively give them permission to remember the good times. You may need to rewrite your plans for the future, but you also have the chance to reclaim the good memories of the past. Not allowing the end to taint the beginning is the gift of grace. Give it to yourself. Give it to your children. You'll all soar again.

Inspiration at the Big Box

Give the gift of gratitude this year.

I didn't even bother getting out of the car. I was in a hurry and apparently it was the day that our local nursing home brought a bus full of its seniors to Wal-Mart. Exacerbated by the last minute Thanksgiving shoppers, traffic was inching along with folks scouting for parking spots...as scarce as turkeys' teeth. Since the rain had finally stopped, I could have the window down. My attention was drawn toward the door by the familiar ringing of a Salvation Army volunteer who was waiting for someone to notice him and drop something into his kettle.

"I need to do that soon," and "wonder if I have enough to share," and "what a thankless job," thought surfaced. With that, I notice a bowed little man who appeared to be nearing the century mark as he emerged from the store. Dressed rather like Mr. Rogers on a tattered day, he shuffled slowly toward the man with the bell. Finally able to extract his worn wallet from a back pocket, he fumbled thoughtfully through its contents. From where I was stopped, I could barely make out the folded bill he raised triumphantly into the air. But what I did see clearly was the joy on his face as he placed his offering in the waiting pot.

He gave me a gift, too. I may spend Thanksgiving at a table full of food, surrounded by a loving family. But in my preparations for that special day - indeed the entire holiday season - I'll reflect on how grateful I am to have seen a shining example of unselfed giving.

Without even being aware of it, my new "friend" has reminded me how thankful I am that there are people like this to love and care and inspire us all.

And how grateful I am for parents who slow down enough to see, appreciate, and share these life lessons with their children. They're making the world a better place - one moment at a time.

November 2009