The Power of the Placemat
In this world of drive-thrus, Hamburger Helper, and Lean Cuisine you might ask yourself how the lowly placemat can have a positive impact on families. Where else can you spend $1.29 on a medium which develops and expands concepts of:
• personal space
• responsibility
• precision
• reliability
• cooperation
• participation
• thoughtfulness
• initiative
• creativity
• learning

How can something be, at the same time, a landing pad and a launching pad? Sure, the family that eats together has fewer challenges down the road (purportedly more able to resist sex, drugs, and rock and roll). But who, outside of some grandparents, sees the correlation between character builders and setting the family table?

I recently observed a loving mom lean away from her intensely enthusiastic in-your-face 6 year old, saying “personal space, personal space” with a smile. They both laughed as the child backed off a little and continued the dialogue in a way that Mom was more comfortable. She told me later that they’d been working with this concept in the kindergartener’s classroom to help her understand her rights in a potential bullying situation.

“Great idea,” I thought, "and how much easier to understand – and visualize – if there were placements in their family." A living example of boundaries and respectful limits.

Although dining together is extremely beneficial, I’ve observed more and more families whose idea of a family dinner is simply occupying the same general area where food is placed, silverware is piled, napkins (or paper towels which are faster to grab) are tossed, and plates are stacked. I’m not advocating a formal silver service, suggesting “grace” or proposing the ringing of a dinner bell (although that IS better than screaming). Even when food is prepared with love and care, does this casual approach to food consumption garner the appreciation that’s deserved?

I watched not long ago as a 3 and 5 year old happily assumed the task of setting the table. The chance to choose the placemats [who cares if it’s Dora or Halloween?], decide where each person can sit, make little place cards, figure out where the forks go, practice folding napkins into various shapes … these are just a few of the opportunities for thinking that these oblong beauties provide. How about the chance to take turns, learn left from right, see equality in providing each diner with what they need, remembering, thoughtfulness, and the all-important opportunity for adults to approve of the child’s accomplishment?!

One family with fledgling readers considers a paper towel with the crayoned letter of each diner’s first name [carefully sounded out] to be a perfect placemat – with a colored sticker if there’s time! Forks and spoons rest there just as well as on grandma’s linens. An additional benefit is the lack of confusion when folks are called to the table. How many renditions of “Where do I sit” or “I don’t have a fork” or “There’s no salt” do you listen to each evening?

Of all the gifts we can give to our children, the urgently important one is the opportunity and ability to make decisions. When it’s time for parents to start turning over some responsibility to their kids, many parents realize that their children are struggling. Not because they’re slow or inept, but because they haven’t had many chances to practice making the little decisions that lead up to the important ones. “Do you want to sit next to Nani or Mommy tonight?” is infinitely easier to answer than, “Do you just try a little cocaine tonight?”

So while they’re still coming to the table, make it an opportunity for nourishment of body and soul. A more peaceful dinner, as sense of accomplishment, and character building –a menu of benefits and a recipe for success!