Based on nearly 70 combined years of dealing with parents and children [their own and other's], this list is a practical compilation by Dr. Timothy Hayes [C&H Counseling Solutions: www.ch4cs.com} and Christie Clarke [Out-A-Box Parenting, Inc: www.outaboxparenting.com].
1. Stop, look, and listen – really listen - to your children.
2. Think [breathe, count, meditate, etc.] before you speak.
3. Speak firmly and kindly [not sarcastically] while setting enforceable limits.
4. Don’t be pulled into arguing, threatening, lecturing, warning.
5. CWC [Communicate When Calm] Don’t try reasoning with a child when either of you is upset or angry.
6. Give your children the gift of thinking and solving his/her own problems.
7. Ask lots and lots of questions – giving choices not commands.
8. Employ empathy first, and then deliver a consequence (not punishment).
9. Make sure you’re focusing on things you CAN control.
10. Model, model, model. Good behavior is caught, not taught!
How wonderful not to have to assimilate them all at once. Baby steps toward a happier home begin with the parents.
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