FEARLESS FAMILY TECH GUIDELINES

Photo by Tim Meany

For those brilliant parents who actually realize that electronics have begun to run their homes and their children rather than the other way around, it’s important to have some structure and expectations around this pervasive dilemma.  Awareness of how effective Prohibition was [not], may allow you to keep in mind the futility of attempting to control your kids around this issue.  And will probably only drive it underground [or to the neighbor’s house].  Parents who indicate what THEY will do, rather than what they will force their KIDS to do is a more effective approach to this universal problem.

Far more effective than springing a list of “Thou Shalt Not’s” on your children, is a family meeting with a conversation which might be launched with statements like:

• I’ve noticed that technology is really important to kids today.
• Have you noticed how much more time we’re all spending on our “devices”?
• I’m concerned about mobile phone usage.
• What rules do your friends have regarding screen time in their homes?
•  Are they teaching you about cyber bullying in school?

Opening a dialogue rather than issuing a dictum is important for cooperation and [hopefully] buy-in.  As in any good family meeting, try:  “Who wants to take notes since this is really important?”  See where it goes but be sure you, as the parent, have an objective in mind.  Generally the conversation can be steered to discussions which result in guidelines like these:

• Kids who pay for their own service, can have cell phones.
• Any illegal electronic activities are reported to the authorities.
• You can keep your device as long as it’s not used while driving, at the table, in church, etc.
• All computers are subject to review of internet history.
• Computers will be in the living room [public space] rather than in individual rooms.
• Devices that send or receive pornography will be given to charity.

If the “You don’t trust me” gauntlet is thrown, one response could reflect on how even good people and grown-ups can get into trouble with this stuff, so having back-up is really important…and thanks for understanding.

Adults should realize that these issues are not just a matter of common courtesy at the table, but can be life-or-death issues.  Signing a PLEDGE indicates the gravity of this subject.  “Where do you think we should post it” carries additional weight.