OBSERVATIONS FROM A THINKING 5 YEAR OLD

Photo by Brittany Randolph

She knows what it’s like growing up in a busy, active house.  She has an older sister [9] and a younger brother [3], so she’d have some interesting comments about how a happy, respectful family operates from the inside.  Her parents are firm and loving.  They have worked hard at giving choices, asking questions, and encouraging their children to think – rather than just boss them around. 

The question for Abby was, “What do you think are the most important things to tell other parents about having a happy, safe family?  What should they teach their children?”

In large printed letters, she wrote emphatically [exclamation points are hers]:

•    Thinking: don’t let people think for you!
•    Don’t boss children!
•    Be nice!
•    Breathe!
•    Don’t be frustreat! [frustrated]
•    Say sorry!
•    Hug or kiss.
•    Parents be a good example!
•    Follow through!
•    Don’t let your children boss you around.  If they do, say “excuse me…?” or “try again.”
•    If baby throws cups, say “All done!”
•    If children hits sister – thinking time!
•    Don’t run in the house!  If they run in the house, thinking time!
•    Have fun!

How wonderful to see that when parents are aware of the necessity of breathing, kissing, hugging, apologizing and thinking, they have children who tend to grow up the same way. 

How interesting to see her first priority reflect the appreciation of her newfound confidence in using her own brains.  This child, who had been in the habit of letting her parents make her decisions, began hearing responses from them that encouraged her to do her own thinking:

•    What do YOU think?
•    What happened last time?
•    I don’t know.
•    What would be best for you?
•    You can decide this.

Because it had been faster and simpler for them all when the adults made all the decisions and answered every question, the parents were the first ones who needed to break the habit.  Here’s where the breathing came in – as they waited patiently for a response from this capable child.  They watched as their daughter morphed from mentally lazy to enthusiastically involved.

So it was easy for her to THINK about what was important, because she’s getting lots of practice.